"Heather! Choc milk!"

My brother Jake and his wife Heather have pretty funny stories about Heather's little sister, Miley, every once in a while. She is one of the most adorable kids you will ever meet, about 2 or 3, and she has been talking a lot more. One time Jake told me the story of how she came over to be baby sat by Jake and plopped herself down on the love sac next to my big brother and just chilled with him. They sat there for a while doing nothing when Heather walked in the room. All the sudden Miley perked up and ordered, "Heather! Choc Milk!" Jake says she won't order him around. Just Heather. I was laughing pretty hard.

"Google: Exotic dogs"

"Hey Karl, what's your favorite dog?" I know that asking him what his favorites is a hard thing for him to answer to but I figured maybe he did have a favorite dog so I asked him via text. He wrote me back and said the Akbash Austrailian Cattle Dog and the Alphalpha Blue Blood Bulldog. They were both kind of ugly dogs but I was more just so happy and proud of him for having favorites! I praised him heartily for having an opinion on what his favorite dog could be and then found out later that he happened to be by a computer and googled it! I was laughing pretty hard. Turns out to this day Karl still doesn't have a favorite dog...or favorite anything...yet:)

"Thanks for putting up all the awesome pics of me. They're fantastic...and hot..."

"Not." Ha ha! Whit said that after my Hawaii post. See my "Limitless" blog.

"If that's what repentance smells like, I refuse!!!"

Laura may very well be one of the funniest people I know. Last Sunday after dinner she said something that prude could have taken offensively. I don't remember what it was and it wasn't discolored at all, just funny. But I threw a bar of soap at her that had a little label on it that said "Repentance Soap. Wash Daily," and ordered her to repent. A few moments later after it was almost forgotten she must have taken a strong whiff of it and exclaimed "Aawh! That smells HORRIBLE. If that's what repentance smells like, I refuse!!" We are just always laughing at her.

"Bah...Zwink!" You may applaud.

The funniest part is...she doesn't think she's funny. Skewed self image for sure.

"I got one of those too! It was from Bill...Oh...no I didn't"

Terese was at my house when my older brother Tyler walked up and said, "Hey did you guys see my congratulations letter from President Obama for graduating?" We all kind of looked at him and said, "What?!" And Terese was like "I got one of those too when I graduated! It was from Bill..." Then she looked at me kind of confused and came to a sudden realization, "Oh...no I didn't." Ha ha ha! It was funny. Apparently Tyler wrote to Prez Obama to say thanks for the grant money and say he was graduating and Obama sent him a letter!

"Wait...you were scuba diving?"

Sunday dinners are always the funniest! We were all eating a delicious meal of mashed potatoes and roast beef when my dad decided to tell a story of something he was "known" for. Evidently he forgot that he had parked his car up the road and thought that someone had stolen it from the driveway-so he called the cops and the cops found his car and dad was like "I guess they didn't get very far did they officer?" He then proceeded to back track on the story and explain why he thought that someone had stolen it. Apparently someone had walked in the house a while back because he thought they weren't home-with the intention of stealing-and so dad was suspicious that someone stole his car. He was mostly worried because the scuba diving gear that was in his car.

He told us every facet of detail and the story kept going on and on leading up to the point where he would scuba dive to clean the bottom of the pool, then he'd put a 3 year old tyler in the pool in a floatation device and look up to check on him every once in a while. Ha ha ha! Anyways...we were all kind of following the story when dad then went back to the part where he thought that his car was stolen. All except for Courtney. She was like..."wait!...i'm confused...so...you were scuba diving?" Laughter ensued and we all laughed for about 3 minutes. Then she was like "so you went home...and there was a guy in your house?" We all laughed. She's funny.

"Don't worry! The gum has only affected a SMALL portion of your shoe!"

Ha ha. Emilee is really funny. I work with her. And she's the reason I'm still here.

"ALL THE WAY UP THERE!!! SMITH's is WAY CLOSER!!!!"

Karl really is hilarious. We were driving on 13th E on the way back to my house on his birthday (july 10th) but we needed to stop at a store to grab some ice cream and candles for the celebration. As we were approaching 21st S from the south I told him to turn right but since he was in the far left lane there was no way to get up there. Nix the trip to Albertson's. "well, we could go to Smith's" he said and started turn left but I said "NO! just go straight we'll just go to Dan's! Smith's is too far away." So he went straight and then he realized about the Dan's I was talking about on Foothill. And then He freaked out (not in a real way! ha ha!) But got super intense with his very fervent tone and realized that Smith's was WAY CLOSER!!! and it actually was...Ha ha ha! I was totally wrong!:)

I was kind of afraid he was going to karate chop me 17 times again but I was laughing to hard too really worry all that much.

Text message moment from Terese

"Trauma at home! buddha just sewed all the way through her finger slash fingernail!"

Yeah, we're not quite sure how it happened either...
and I love that Terese wrote out 'slash'

-Whit

"Will I be confused...?"

Whit happened to land upon some free tickets to Harry Potter #6 in a private theatre and decided it was a free movie and she might as well go! But soon, certain concerns started creeping up...she realized...she hadn't seen all the Harry Potter's before this one. So she called me and asked me, with the utmost sincerity and seriousness, "so...if I haven't read or seen any of the Harry Potters before this...will I be confused?" Ha ha ha. Well, I think it ended up being okay! It was just funny to me.

"Not that I care..."

"Could you take another picture, my hair fell in front of my face...Not that I care or anything."

minutes later...hahaha

"Yeah, he's just the starting LB for the Eagles...Not that I care or anything."

We know you don't Ash ;)

Whit's wisdom

Another Hawaii condo on the bed talk:
"Yeah," I said. "What if you could have the WORST day of your life and the BEST day of your life all in one?" In regards to Dreamboat's similar experience. Whit looked up from her book and said, "Well...then that would just be a normal day." Laughter ensued.

"But...what about the GUYS??!? There's NOBODY!"

In my cry of desperation and heartache at not having found an eternal mate, I told Terese the above. It just happened to be one of those things that is easily lauhged at for minutes on end.

"Before that I didn't really have an identity. I was six."

Ha ha...No comment. Sometimes I'm an idiot. But yes, I MIGHT have said that once.

"And I want twister sheets!"

I had the strangest dream that I was proposed to by an estimable gentleman, and friend, on the streets of New York; I said yes. Upon retelling the dream to my friend Terese, I mentioned that in the dream I had planned the biggest party you could ever imagine gowning my sisters and my new fiance's sisters in white dresses with different colored polka-dots. She said that hopefully the dots weren't too big or you'd look like a twister board. Then she jumped up on the bed and stretched out in a pose as if she were on a twister board and said, "And I want twister sheets!" She never fails to make me laugh. As it turns out...there really are twister sheets...!

"Like a future..."

Ha ha. Sarah Mercedes, having dated Pat for the unfathomable time of 1 week, claims she was joking when she said that she and Pat had found it "odd and fast BUT they had fallen in love!" She continued to say..."like a future..." and the phrase kinda just stuck.

"Get some CHICKENS!!"

First of all, if your going to yell something out in class...make sure that it is the correct thing.

Would anybody else have mistaken these for chickens?

Probably not...that's why I'm still in school. But it broke the ice after the only fight Whitney and I ever had. So, there ARE good things that come from stupidity!:)

"My spoon solo sucks!"

Mark Greenwood. One of the funnier individuals in this world.

"You MIGHT wanna take that off...."

Brayden told me this when I put on a friend's mom's wedding ring that was worth more than my life. It was sitting by the sink and I couldn't help myself from trying it on. I freaked out and took it off and we laughed really hard after that, especially when he dared me to put it on again.

"Where ARE you?"

Whitney's closet has an ancient cover for a light fixture. It's a glass square that bows down a little at the center, sustained only by a small screw driven through a hole at its lowest point. This leaves the pointed edges vicariously vulnerable to hit your forehead if you were 7 feet tall. Or, say, if you happen to throw a bag up on to and already crowded (but organized) shelf just adjacent to it.The backpack didn't maintain it's footing on the shelf and fell down maliciously snagging one of the glass corners of the light fixture. It was spliced diagonally and came crashing down onto Whitney's head cutting her and making an extremely loud crashing sound. About the same time Whitney whimpered, Brady, asleep on a nearby bed got up abruptly from his slumber(in superhuman speed) and searched frantically with his eyes as to where Whitney could be. As we all know, sleep has a tendency of meddling with our spacial reality and finally Brady yelled out, "Where ARE you?" Only to find she was 3 feet away. (Acting in his defense there was a curtain separating his view, so it's a totally understandable folly.)

"It's like the CENTER of a cinnamon roll..."

Once upon a time, me, Whitney, Sarah Mercedes and Isaac decided to make our own amazing phonetic alphabet. We were getting along pretty well. A as in Ardvark or Avacado. B as in Bazooka. C as in Caviar. D as in Dandelion and so on. We got to the letter H and Isaac suggested Hiatus. Whitney said, "What IS a hiatus anyways?" And I proceeded to explain in all seriousness with cupped hand motions in front of me as though I were holding a precious delectable treat that it was like, "the center of a cinnamon roll." (For I really believed that to be the case!) and after a few seconds of everyone trying to take in the sheer geniusness I had ensued, ultimate laughter was had, and I found out then in a fit of hysteria, I couldn't have been more wrong. (For those of you who don't know, Hiatus= a break.) CON-trib-ute!!

"I'm in a SNOW FILLED PASS!!"

JW on the way to San Fransisco on the phone with me. I was trying to tell him my blog address and just have him remember it but he was driving in a snow filled pass and obviously couldn't use any more portion of his brain to remember a certain address such as pythonplease.
Other good quotable memories include:
"Even in your poor condition."
"GROOD! I mean...good. Great and good."
"DE-LIGHT!!"
"There's a double meaning in that."
"I was going to sell you some handsome cream, but obviously you bought out the store" "Go on..."

"I know right?? Why trust a shark..."

Swimming was a little different one morning for Triathlon class. After our regular work out we went to the deep end of the pool to play a little friendly game of Sharks and Minnows. The shark is in the middle while the minnows try and evade the shark down below. If a minnow is caught-it turns into a shark. I was caught and there were about 3 or 4 other sharks with me. As the minnows were beginning to take off I shouted out the line from Finding Nemo "I know right? Why trust a shark?!" Of the few people that heard me, they just stared in my direction blankly while the water lapped against the side of the pool echoing off of the empty silence. So, I hung my head thinking "Alright. Well, that went well."

1. 2. 3. 4. 5...6...........

The instructor in our Comm class told us to count off into 5 groups. "So, just count off 1-5" She started at the side of the classroom and each student took turns calling out their number. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Then it came to Whitney and she said "Six." The room went very silent...and anyone not looking in that direction was looking in that direction probably thinking, "is she an idiot?" After what seemed like eons of eternity (which was really about 2 seconds) Whitney realized her mistake and said..."I mean....ONE!" It was pretty freaking hilarious.

"I have little shoes on..."

Whitney and her gold "ballet shoes" crossing a great mound of icy snow. I don't know why this was so funny. Probably because it sounded just like Will Ferrell in Anchorman when he says, "Oh Baxter, you are my little gentleman." Same tone. Hilarious.