you CLOSED your EYES?

Remember when you closed your eyes? Ya. Don't ever expect to benefit from THAT service ever again:)

the breast stroke

Hey, so...remember when we swum laps together and all 230 lb 6 foot 7 of you was trying trying to do some elaborate fish out of water move? Then I asked you what exactly it was you were trying to accomplish by doing that specific swim style? "I'm doing the breaststroke!" Came the retort. "Oh!" ha ha! Oh "THAT's the breaststroke!" You may not have been back in the pool for 4 months... Oh don't look at me like I ruined your confidence in the matter! We'll practice!:) Remember how you also always have to refer to chicken as "chicken breast?" I think you just like the word...you sicko. You're like a 30 year old virgin.

Trampeded

So, I guess I like to make up new words. It's really just more an art of MIXING (an art which I have not yet obtained through the medium of watercolor painting-how come nobody told me painting was so HARD?) lame. Anyways. We were at the concert, Ingrid Michaelson, our first date EVER, thank you very much...I think you still kinda owe that for me btw...and I said "Come on! We don't wanna get trampeded so we gotta get out of here!" Nice. Something really awesome for someone to say when they're trying to make a lasting first impression on a first date. "I think you meant stampede or trampled," you chuckle. Well, lucky for me you were already around my finger cuz you kissed me like 5 hours later and you've been whooped ever since! Feeling's mutual toots! Here's to making up new words:) I guess it worked. Sweet!

I don't get scared...

Remember when you were hiding in the darkness just behind the door at Luke's in Oregon and I walked in to have you scare the living daylights out of me but since I don't get scared I just squared up my stance and balled up my fists and growled my little Mushu Dragon (from Mulan) growl? That was kind of funny. Mostly just embarrassing...

"Are they in New York?"

First of all...that movie was all OVER the place! 2012 is just like all the other "the world is ending, we're all gonna die!!" movies...Easy enough to follow for sure. But if you happen to zonk out for a SECOND you'll end up missing out on where all the action is. How someone can travel from California to China in a day should make you skeptical enough...so naturally when I saw the Eiffel Tower getting knocked over by the runaway plane I figured they were probably in Paris or New York(since I thought the only tall building in the US was in NY...the Empire State building. Shyeah! How could I have gotten that wrong? They don't even look the same)...right? Naturally...try naturally not! Try L.A.--evidently they have a fake little Eiffel Tower there (have I ever been there??? NO. Have you? Of course). So of course when you made me repeat the question I had already figured out I asked the wrong one...Thanks for laughing...jerk...ha ha ha. I admit. It was pretty funny. I'm so glad we can laugh at my expense of being stupid. The sad part is...I wasn't stupid until I met you. Anyways...

Calvin Klein

You were looking at me that way again...the coy, innocent "I didn't do that" face, you know, the one that Calvin (from Calvin & Hobbes) always makes when he gets in trouble. Ya, that's the one. I said, "Oh don't think you can just give me your Calvin Klein face and get away with it all!!" I suppose I forgot to differentiate the Calvins in my mind before speaking...So what! I went for the underwear model instead! (what does that say about my subconscious?)

Cenataur

Remember when I told you it was for sure a "good thing I look like a CENATAUR!" And you were like..."Oh...what does a Cenataur look like?" And I was like: "You know! Half man, half bull!" Of course you started laughing and I knew I was wrong..."I think you mean Centaur babe! Which is actually a half man, half horse. Half man, half bull is a MINotaur!" I knew that...

Numb Lips

Remember when you were sitting in training with Emilee and your lips got numb and bitter because you ate an apple without washing it so it probably had poisonous pesticides on it? Cute...but sometimes a little slow. ha ha ha.

"Heather! Choc milk!"

My brother Jake and his wife Heather have pretty funny stories about Heather's little sister, Miley, every once in a while. She is one of the most adorable kids you will ever meet, about 2 or 3, and she has been talking a lot more. One time Jake told me the story of how she came over to be baby sat by Jake and plopped herself down on the love sac next to my big brother and just chilled with him. They sat there for a while doing nothing when Heather walked in the room. All the sudden Miley perked up and ordered, "Heather! Choc Milk!" Jake says she won't order him around. Just Heather. I was laughing pretty hard.

"Google: Exotic dogs"

"Hey Karl, what's your favorite dog?" I know that asking him what his favorites is a hard thing for him to answer to but I figured maybe he did have a favorite dog so I asked him via text. He wrote me back and said the Akbash Austrailian Cattle Dog and the Alphalpha Blue Blood Bulldog. They were both kind of ugly dogs but I was more just so happy and proud of him for having favorites! I praised him heartily for having an opinion on what his favorite dog could be and then found out later that he happened to be by a computer and googled it! I was laughing pretty hard. Turns out to this day Karl still doesn't have a favorite dog...or favorite anything...yet:)

"Thanks for putting up all the awesome pics of me. They're fantastic...and hot..."

"Not." Ha ha! Whit said that after my Hawaii post. See my "Limitless" blog.

"If that's what repentance smells like, I refuse!!!"

Laura may very well be one of the funniest people I know. Last Sunday after dinner she said something that prude could have taken offensively. I don't remember what it was and it wasn't discolored at all, just funny. But I threw a bar of soap at her that had a little label on it that said "Repentance Soap. Wash Daily," and ordered her to repent. A few moments later after it was almost forgotten she must have taken a strong whiff of it and exclaimed "Aawh! That smells HORRIBLE. If that's what repentance smells like, I refuse!!" We are just always laughing at her.

"Bah...Zwink!" You may applaud.

The funniest part is...she doesn't think she's funny. Skewed self image for sure.

"I got one of those too! It was from Bill...Oh...no I didn't"

Terese was at my house when my older brother Tyler walked up and said, "Hey did you guys see my congratulations letter from President Obama for graduating?" We all kind of looked at him and said, "What?!" And Terese was like "I got one of those too when I graduated! It was from Bill..." Then she looked at me kind of confused and came to a sudden realization, "Oh...no I didn't." Ha ha ha! It was funny. Apparently Tyler wrote to Prez Obama to say thanks for the grant money and say he was graduating and Obama sent him a letter!

"Wait...you were scuba diving?"

Sunday dinners are always the funniest! We were all eating a delicious meal of mashed potatoes and roast beef when my dad decided to tell a story of something he was "known" for. Evidently he forgot that he had parked his car up the road and thought that someone had stolen it from the driveway-so he called the cops and the cops found his car and dad was like "I guess they didn't get very far did they officer?" He then proceeded to back track on the story and explain why he thought that someone had stolen it. Apparently someone had walked in the house a while back because he thought they weren't home-with the intention of stealing-and so dad was suspicious that someone stole his car. He was mostly worried because the scuba diving gear that was in his car.

He told us every facet of detail and the story kept going on and on leading up to the point where he would scuba dive to clean the bottom of the pool, then he'd put a 3 year old tyler in the pool in a floatation device and look up to check on him every once in a while. Ha ha ha! Anyways...we were all kind of following the story when dad then went back to the part where he thought that his car was stolen. All except for Courtney. She was like..."wait!...i'm confused...so...you were scuba diving?" Laughter ensued and we all laughed for about 3 minutes. Then she was like "so you went home...and there was a guy in your house?" We all laughed. She's funny.

"Don't worry! The gum has only affected a SMALL portion of your shoe!"

Ha ha. Emilee is really funny. I work with her. And she's the reason I'm still here.

"ALL THE WAY UP THERE!!! SMITH's is WAY CLOSER!!!!"

Karl really is hilarious. We were driving on 13th E on the way back to my house on his birthday (july 10th) but we needed to stop at a store to grab some ice cream and candles for the celebration. As we were approaching 21st S from the south I told him to turn right but since he was in the far left lane there was no way to get up there. Nix the trip to Albertson's. "well, we could go to Smith's" he said and started turn left but I said "NO! just go straight we'll just go to Dan's! Smith's is too far away." So he went straight and then he realized about the Dan's I was talking about on Foothill. And then He freaked out (not in a real way! ha ha!) But got super intense with his very fervent tone and realized that Smith's was WAY CLOSER!!! and it actually was...Ha ha ha! I was totally wrong!:)

I was kind of afraid he was going to karate chop me 17 times again but I was laughing to hard too really worry all that much.

Text message moment from Terese

"Trauma at home! buddha just sewed all the way through her finger slash fingernail!"

Yeah, we're not quite sure how it happened either...
and I love that Terese wrote out 'slash'

-Whit

"Will I be confused...?"

Whit happened to land upon some free tickets to Harry Potter #6 in a private theatre and decided it was a free movie and she might as well go! But soon, certain concerns started creeping up...she realized...she hadn't seen all the Harry Potter's before this one. So she called me and asked me, with the utmost sincerity and seriousness, "so...if I haven't read or seen any of the Harry Potters before this...will I be confused?" Ha ha ha. Well, I think it ended up being okay! It was just funny to me.

"Not that I care..."

"Could you take another picture, my hair fell in front of my face...Not that I care or anything."

minutes later...hahaha

"Yeah, he's just the starting LB for the Eagles...Not that I care or anything."

We know you don't Ash ;)

Whit's wisdom

Another Hawaii condo on the bed talk:
"Yeah," I said. "What if you could have the WORST day of your life and the BEST day of your life all in one?" In regards to Dreamboat's similar experience. Whit looked up from her book and said, "Well...then that would just be a normal day." Laughter ensued.